For couples who are married with children, the hardest part of getting a divorce is probably going to be agreeing on custody and child-rearing matters. Things can escalate quickly, and you may find yourself co-parenting with someone you barely recognize any longer.
The good news is that it usually doesn't come to that, and you can strive to effectively co-parent with your soon-to-be ex no matter what the situation of your divorce may be. Follow these do's and don'ts when you disagree about the kids during the divorce.
Do Try to Look at Things from Your Ex's Perspective
It can be easy for couples to try to almost dehumanize one another during the divorce process. Whether both parties wanted the divorce or one simply has a difficult time moving on, it's important for both spouses to try to understand each other's point-of-view on raising the children.
When you try to nurture the empathy and care that you feel for your ex, you can more easily communicate your concerns about the children from a positive place. Be sure to talk to your ex about the importance of trying to see things from each other's perspective when an argument over the children comes up.
Don't Ever Fight in Front of the Children
Don't ever fight in front of the kids. If you feel that an argument will ensue, ask to change the subject until the kids are in school. You may even make a date to discuss the issue with your ex when you know that the children will not be around.
Things can get very heated during an argument, and couples can forget that the big ears and eyes of little ones are paying attention to them. Try to be very conscious of the behavior your children witness during the divorce. Always encourage them to have a positive relationship with your soon-to-be ex.
Do Consider Mediation as a Way of Keeping Things More Amicable
Bringing your divorce case to court may seem like a daunting idea, and it may be easier to maintain an amicable relationship with your future ex if you can avoid going to court. Let's face it. If you are able to get your ex to agree to mediation, you may be able to avoid some heated moments in court, and you may feel empowered to work out your own fair custody agreement.
You are going to be co-parents with your spouse for life, and it's best to do all you can to maintain a friendly relationship with your former life partner. If your ex is agreeable to choosing divorce mediation, it may be the best thing.
Finally, keep in mind that you should talk to your divorce lawyer before agreeing to anything with your soon-to-be ex, and you should definitely not sign papers that have not been evaluated by your divorce attorney. While it is important to be respect of your soon-to-be ex and keep effective co-parent as a priority, you don't have to be best friends with your ex. You simply have to treat our kids' other parent with respect and try to kindly work towards' your overall parenting goals. For more information, contact companies like The Law Offices Of James Scott Walker.
Share20 July 2017
When I began the divorce process, I knew that I wanted to change my name back to my maiden name. I no longer wanted to be associated with the family name of the man that I was divorcing. The problem was, I have three kids that all had their father's name. I wanted to know if I would be able to change their last names to my maiden name rather than having them carry that family's name for the rest of their lives. I found out a lot about what it would take and began working to create this blog to help other women wanting to do the same thing.
